The root of my problems

I've always wondered why no girls like me and now I realize it's because I have a tiny dick and weird scrotum acne. Once I saw Dave having sex with ten Playboy Bunnies and when he came it was like molten ivory, and then they all saw me and laughed and said my face looks like a vagina. Another time I tried to talk to this one girl but she ran away screaming and tearing her eyes because I smiled. Maybe it's because my breath smells like a corpse's pussy fart.

Hang on, I have diarrhea.

I wish I wasn't so ugly and impotent and racist.