Jesus Christ

I'm sure nobody checks this anymore cuz I just realized I haven't updated since last May. Christ on a cracker. Well, stuff has happened in 5 months, I guess. I finished teaching, had the weekend off, then taught summer school. That blew. The teaching actually wasn't that bad. It was fun and laid-back, it just sucked that I had no time off. Then when I did have time off, I went on a touring trip of California, which had its positives, and then had to pack up to move. I live about 5 blocks from where I did last year. I love my place. It's 400 bucks cheaper, and I just feel more at home there. It's quirky. Like, the bathroom is small and kinda ugly. The toilet has one of those public bathroom kind of flushers, or the like the handle on a urinal. It's weird. There's no tank on the back. Don't know what whoever installed it was thinking.

So, I got a baby bunny too. His name is Reeree (or rere, pronounced 'reeree'). He's pretty fucking cute. He's got floppy ears and not the greatest balance yet. That's how he got his name.

What else. I teach a Shakespeare class now which is the best class on the planet; no lie. It's the last period of the day, too, which is such a relief. I took my kids to see Twelfth Night on Saturday. It was in a 42 person theatre. I was expecting mediocrity and was surprised by excellence. It was one of the funniest plays I've seen in a VERY long time. There were even some older actors I recognized in it as well. Top notch. The kids loved it, as they should.

The founder of my school gave me this really cool book this weekend. It's by a friend of his. He researched for about ten years and collected all kinds of artwork (I'm sure he doesn't 'have' the artwork) done by famous writers. It's neat. There's this one picture by Russell Edson of a fire-dragon and then this short poem underneath (most don't have any writing to accompany the picture, just this one):

Fire is not a Nice Guest

I had charge of an insane asylum, as I was insane.
A fire came, which got hungry; so I said, you may
eat a log, but do not go upstairs and eat a dementia
praecox.

I thought it was funny.

Here's the randomness for today: Chris Brown had a photo shoot for Newsweek on our basketball court. If you don't know who Chris Brown is, ask any high schooler and they'll freak on you. He's very important to their lives. Also, it was quite annoying because my room faces the courts and has giant windows which do not have blinds yet. So I was teaching to a bunch of chins today as they looked skyward (our basketball court is raised on the side of a hill). I really appreciated it when Giovanni looked up and said, "Hey, how come he's taking his shirt off . . ." and started a minor riot.

Baseball

I'm going to try to get back into baseball this summer. It's been about 3 years since I've been, what I will call, 'involved' with baseball. I suppose I have to pick a team out here just to get behind as a home team. I went to a Dodger's game with Kevin the other week and I liked it. It's funny. I still like the Cubs (though I won't be able to watch too many games out here) and many Dodger's are ex-Cubs; Nomar, Juan Pierre (best name in baseball). Anyway, I'll do my best to get back in the swing. Pun.

On another note, there hasn't been a really good baseball movie in a while. There should. For the Love of the Game is on with Kevin Costner, and it blows, mediocre at best. Anyway, you got Field of Dreams and Bull Durham (good job Kevin on those twins), A League of Their Own, and Major League (which if you haven't seen it in a while, check it out again. It's a cut above.) and, arguably, The Natural. I guess that's five which is more than most other sports, but the newest one is A League of Their Own. That was a decade ago.

Anyway, I write this because I had my baseball talk with my students the other day. I'm sure people have talked about this before, probably published something, but I came up with this on my own. Anyway, my students were remarking about how great some sport was and I had to sit them down and tell them about baseball. They're so quick to say how boring it is, etc., but haven't taken a good look at it.

First, it's the best sport to watch live. You couldn't sell out 100 games of any other sport. Some might argue football, but I don't think so. Baseball is a long term sport. It's about consistency and perfection (I'll get to perfection in a minute) over a long period of time. Football, yes it is full contact and injuries are more prominent, but that sport is a sprint and momentum can weigh much more heavily than many other sports (figuratively speaking) namely because it's so short. Sitting in the stands is calming with your beer, keeping score, and spitting sunflower seeds. Tough to beat.

Second, it's arguably the most fun sport to play. Obviously people will disagree for a different sport they have more success at or experience with since youth. But, give it a chance if you haven't. Anyway, if you want to play catch, you don't need a whole lot: two gloves, a ball, and about 25 feet of space. Most other sports you need much more organization and acreage of space. Of course if you want to play a full game you need a diamond, 10 people, the whole shibang. At the very least, it's one of the most relaxing sports to play.

Finally, the game is perfect. Argue all you want about this one; it's non-negotiable. It's a game of perfection. People say it's a game of inches, but every sport is when you think about it, so that seems bad reasoning. Back to the point, it's a game of perfection so much that they actually count the errors. Do you believe that? They count them. And it's perfectly common to have games with no errors. Think of every other sport; penalties, fouls, rules being broken. The only rule that's usually broken is when a pitcher gets called for a Balk which is rare. Other than that, I can't think of too many other rules that get broken. Besides, think of how good you have to be to play professionally. There's no luck in baseball (now this is from Fever Pitch which I forgot to mention earlier, which is actually pretty decent, but baseball is the medium rather than the point of that movie), you can get lucky in other sports, have a good game, but in baseball you either can hit a curveball or you can't, there's no faking it. They are the best of the best. There's triple-A, double-A, etc. as a system in place to get the best. Yes, much of the talent is natural, but they work for it and weed out the weaker ones. Not that football players don't work for it, but look at lineman, for example. Yes, they need talent but they're just big, you know? They ate a lot, worked out a lot, and ate some more. They can't eat a bunch to hit a 92 mph split-finger.

Listen, I'm right. Accept it.

Blogs, etc.

I don't understand blogs, really. What is their purpose? I claimed long ago, maybe my first post, that this would be a bitch-free zone--at least in that I would avoid bitching about my life. I'll complain about pet peeves and the like, such as the last post, but I'm not writing to whine. I got Dr. Phil to help me deal with that shit. But reading other blogs, I fail to understand what blogs are really for. I enjoy entertaining stories of parties, or humorous experiences, but some people treat blogs as if it is their only outlet for dealing with their lives. If that's the case, is a public domain really the appropriate place to get help? If I'm going to treat a blog like a diary I would have to be completely candid, but I wouldn't think I could be completely candid if I knew everyone was going to read it. Can I really be honest without just being passive aggressive?

Also, another solution to this 'online diary' would be to make things general enough that randoms could not decipher exactly who they may be talking about. I noticed one of my friends does this, but since she does, I have no fucking clue what she's talking about. It's so general in hopes to avoid getting too deep with strangers, that people who know her have no idea what's going on. This brings me back to my original hope that blogs be used to share stories, not therapy. To provide humor or interesting insights, not generalities or mild soap operas.

Here's something that will hopefully get and give interesting insights: I'm trying to figure out a place for me. I've realized I'm really good at a lot of things, but not truly great at any one thing. I'm smart enough, I've got good hand-eye coordination, thus, all in all, quite competent regarding virtually anything, but there's nothing out there for me as far as great success is concerned. Yeah, anything I do will most likely result in some basic form of success, but I can't see a place for me to get into (industry or just great opportunity in some other field that interests me) that will give me a chance to succeed where it matters, on a more global scale.

Maybe this comes down to money, but I don't think it's that simple. I don't want money for the sake of money. I want money to be able to do things, travel, and eat. When I say do things, I mean be able to go to the movies and buy some candy without thinking twice or bitching about making rent. Clearly, I'm probably better off than most straight-out-of-college men, but I don't think teaching is the path at this point in my life. I'm not giving up on teaching yet. I'll do it for a little while longer, I just really want some money. That sounds so strange coming from me. Money's not a big priority in my life. I don't like buying things. My least favorite thing to do is shop. Just now that I'm done with college, all I can do is earn money to go do things.

I'm rambling.

My point is this: there's really not too much out there for people slightly above average--the category in which I feel I fall. Inanity drives me crazy as does ignorance, but I'm losing confidence in my ability to become great. So, I got to thinking, there must be some place that isn't being filled where someone like me can fit. What could that be? I'm trying to figure that out. To be a successful actor, you need to be incredibly talented, or lucky. I can't bank on luck. People who depend on winning the lottery would not fare well in life, and neither would I. I need another way in. I can't sell things, I hate that. I don't think I can 'work my way up' as a PA or something, I mean, I have a Graduate degree from Harvard. I don't put much stock in that but the rest of the world does. That's just the thing I'm talking about! Priorities and perceptions don't mean anything because a person must always subscribe to someone else's priority (as far as what's important (in anything)) or perception unless that person can make it on their own, a person which I would argue qualifies to be in the 'great' category.

I don't know what I'm looking for, but I need help. I don't feel this is a bitching zone, nor am I looking for online therapy, I just want to open the doors for a conversation.

PS-Something I hate: when people say exetera, instead of et cetera.
Something I love: bachelor parties in Las Vegas.

'Naturally Inspired'

Advertising. Forget main things about public perception as far as thin, beautiful people all the time in commercials or the like. My pet peeve is the way advertising 'geniuses' try to word things to make them seem better using completely hollow descriptions and words like the title of this post. The title is referring to a new laundry detergent. The commercial was bullshit as a couple is fighting, goes to bed, smells their sheets and turns toward each other with the caption, you won't be able to go to bed angry, as if the smell of the detergent can eliminate the fact that your wife blew some guy in the elevator the other day. Anyway, besides this obvious lie, the problem I really have is when they are describing the product. Using the same detergent example, the scent comes from Lavender and Vanilla. The commercial tells the audience the scent is naturally inspired. What total bullshit! And what does that mean? Everything fake is naturally inspired. That doesn't mean anything. While they are saying this, the commercial creators are showing bits of lavender and vanilla spinning through the water. There is nothing natural about liquid laundry detergent. It is completely manufactured. It is inspired by nature so they use chemicals they create in a tube to make it smell like the real thing. Just say that. Or better yet, don't say anything referring to where the smell comes from. Naturally inspired. This is obviously not the only phrase advertisers use to manipulate how people view their product, and I'm not even saying it's so bad. I just realized how so many people must hear phrases like that and not think twice. Maybe even become convinced by it. That's what really upset me. The fact that it works and can be convincing. Anyway, I can't think of an appropriate term for the language advertisers use. I'm sure there's a term, but even now an appropriate one escapes me. Suggestions?

Something scary

I typed 'wikipedia' into wikipedia and it exploded.

And another thing . . .

Something I hate: when they edit previews for movies so that it 'sounds' like the actors are responding to the voice over announcer. Example: (VO) Don't miss this year's best comedy! (Actor in movie in random scene) You better not!

Childish.

Something I love: bread. I finally figured out if I were living on a desert island and I could only have 1 food the rest of my life, it would be fresh bread. Dave's was ice cream, and I think that's bogus. I still stipulate that it must be one kind of ice cream if that's his food. My former pick was potatoes, but I had no argument against Dave's picks because technically mashed potatoes and baked potatoes are different food items. But now, I'll say fresh Italian bread and leave it at that. I could eat that forever. Suck on that, Dave.

New Yorker

I 'borrowed' this New Yorker from my gym the other day so that I could finish an article I was reading. It was one of those articles about a school in a poor area which is underachieving and one man's quest to fix it. This one man was a newly appointed member to run a whole school district consisting of 150 schools or so. The article was about 16 pages long (and they were long pages) and I followed a few hopeful students on their journey as they tried to stand apart while also supporting their families, etc. It was a very typical article, well written, except that the school closed (they talked about how they would reopen it restructured), and the students we followed all but gave up hope. I was upset. I mean, that's the way it actually is out there, I'm not a big fan of Hollywood endings, I was just hoping that the article would give me insight on turning around a school. Maybe a model to follow. I was also hoping it ended well so I could xerox it and give it to my principal. Nope. I was also kind of upset that I read the whole thing and learned very little. Felt like a waste of time.

One thing I did like was from one of the 'hopeless students'. She's into poetry and wrote this good phrase about her life:

Go home be ashamed
foodstamps to medicaid
poor slang hustlas
we are all each other customers
boys go from apple jacks to weed sacks
fast.

Also reminded me of Def Poetry Jam which is starting a new season again. Such a good show.

I've come a long way

It's just struck me how much I've changed since my youth. I'm just sitting here eating some Kit Kats. They are the fun size (misnomer). I used to eat it by breaking them apart, eating them one at a time. Now, I just eat it as if the whole were a bar. I think previously I was coerced by the 'Gimme a break' commercials of yore. Members of the commercials would say the line and then break one of the bars off. As I sit on my computer, watching American Idol on the couch I enjoy with my feet up after a long day of work and picking up Kelly from her dental extravaganza, I realize I need to eat Kit Kat differently. I don't have the patience to break off the bars. I want a candy bar, I'm gonna fuckin' eat one. FYI-Kit Kats are underrated by far. Simple. Enjoyable. Leaves you with a satisfying feeling when done. Moreso than Snickers in my opinion. Snickers, while it is a more hefty bar, and I do enjoy the nougat, but the peanuts are a stretch for me. They combine with the nougat and caramel to create a sticky, bumpy mixture in my molars.

By the way, cliches bother me. Not because I hate it when people use them but, in fact, just the opposite. I think sometimes when I'm trying to avoid a cliche I search and find words that may not be right simply to avoid the possible perfect phrasing of a cliche; catch-22. For example, I was thinking about describing the Kit Kats and saying how much I enjoyed the silky milk chocolate but then I didn't. It was cliche. But that's what it was to me. Go fig.